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Change in Gardening & Life Plans

I know I have not done much in this blog for the last couple of months, and I apologize for that. I've been going through a lot of personal stuff, and I have lost my enthusiasm for gardening.

As some of you know, I waited six months to get a community garden plot, but after only a couple of weeks of having it, I gave it back and they graciously returned my money. I have faced the fact that I am now not healthy enough to take care of a big garden. In fact, I'm really burned out on gardening right now. It's gotten to be too much like work, and I honestly don't want to do it anymore.

The gardens around here have gotten out of control, because I've basically neglected them for months. I keep saying I'm going to go out and rake or trim dead stuff, or whatever, but I don't. The weather is perfect for it, but I can't make myself do it.

One reason is because of my health problems. I have had to have a lot of tests lately because of digestive issues. I had a endoscopy last week, which found that I have serious esophagitis and gastritis, so I'm having to take a lot of medicine that I don't want to take, and it's depressing me. I hate taking pharma drugs. Still, I want to get well, so I'll take them until that happens. I still haven't gotten the results of the ultrasound or the biopsy they took during the endoscopy, so I'm anxious about those.

Getting old is horrible. I used to be able to work in my yard all day, now even this little 300sf of garden is too much for me. After I got the community garden, I knew I couldn't take care of it and what I have here, which is why I gave it up.

So this is my new garden plan. I'm going to sell all but a few of my plants, clear out the gardens and only plant a few easy-care perennials in them, things that won't die no matter what you do or don't do to them. Maybe I'll plant a few marigolds and zinnias in there too, but mostly, I just want things that need nothing that Mother Nature doesn't give them.

I hate that I have gotten to this point in my life, where gardening is just too much for me, but the time had to come sooner or later. I'll turn to being thankful for all the years I had, and maybe get back into growing my miniature African violets again. I did love growing those, and they're pretty easy.

I'm also thinking of moving into a smaller place, once I get rid of about 90% of my stuff. I keep just going smaller and smaller, but the smaller I go, the more I realize I don't need most of what I have. I'm even considering maybe becoming a van dweller, but that may not work out. We'll see.

So the blog is going to change. I'll still do the Month-by-Month posts, and I'll still do my garden diary, but I'm also thinking of doing more informational posts about gardening in small spaces, and posts on growing individual plants. As far as my gardens go, they will be leaner, cleaner, and some place I really do enjoy going out into.

Stay tuned for big changes.
Happy Gardening!